With last year being undoubtedly a struggle at the best of times, 2020 feels even more of a fresh start than your bog standard new year for me (albeit I’m a little late…). Going into 2019 my mam was seriously unwell in hospital so my priorities for the last 12 months were just to make it through. There were many many challenges, with my mam becoming so poorly there were a few occasions we were advised to come to terms with the idea she probably wouldn’t get better, and when we were celebrating the beginning of my mam’s recovery and her first lot of clear scans.. I ended up being sacked from my job. On the same day. It’s pretty safe to say my mental health suffered a lot, and picking my confidence up from rock bottom is still something I’m trying to do, but I’m optimistic that 2020 will bring around plenty of positive changes.
- Learn some new recipes – In the last few years, I’ll admit that I developed a somewhat unhealthy relationship with food. It wasn’t weight related, but it was a way to control one aspect of my life when I was stressed, and I naively thought it helped my anxiety. I became quite picky and fearful of many foods I’d eaten my whole life, and was generally pretty unhealthy – so one of my resolutions is to improve my diet. I really enjoy cooking, but I often stick to the same meals time and time again, so this year I’d love to expand on the meals I’m making.
- Expand my comfort zone – Majority of 2019 was spent visiting different hospitals, which, for someone with a health related phobia is pretty good going. Weirdly what started as a place that terrified me, by the end of the year, became a comfort zone for me, which just proves that you do enough of something that scares you and it takes the anxiety out of it. This year I’m really keen to continue doing little things that make anxious, such as using public transport, which is my nemesis.
- Develop healthier spending habits – The unemployed life is tough. Thankfully I had a comfortable amount of savings when I unexpectedly lost my job, but 6 months down the line and I’m finding myself still stuck in this spending mindset when the reality is my carers allowance is pitiful and doesn’t allow for me to spend like I maybe used to. I have many things I need to save for which are far more important than food and clothes, so apart from the odd treat here and there, I’m challenging myself to spend a lot less this year.
- Find my place on social media – Having not engaged in social media much in the last few years, one of my biggest aims of 2020 is to find my place on my favourite platforms again. I’ve learnt which I like to use and which I don’t, so I’ll be focusing my time and energy on Pinterest (my fave), Instagram and Twitter. I’m my own worst enemy and 9 out of 10 times will talk myself out of posting content, comparing myself to others and convincing myself it isn’t good enough. This year I know I need to go back to the basics and the things that make me happier, rather than paying more attention to what others are doing.
- Be a little more ambitious – Growing up, I was a high achiever at school and always competing with myself to do more, be better. However, when I came to leave school and that academic routine I was so used to, I became exhausted and unmotivated to do much but the bare minimum. I lost the confidence to believe that I could all these things I wanted to achieve and admittedly stopped trying – often putting other people’s needs before my own. 2020 is the year I want to change that.
- Spend more time learning new skills – Following on from the past point, this year I can’t help but dwell on the idea of a total career change. Whilst I enjoyed working in marketing and social media, I’m not sure if I was really utilising the things I excel most in. I’m creative but doubtful, and a lot of the time prefer right and wrong answers. I really enjoy organising and a good excel spreadsheet. I’m my own boss and I tend to do things my own way, but I get lonely too, and they’re all things I need to take into consideration. Whilst I’m really unsure what I’d like this career change to be, I want to dip my toe into a few things and learn more. I’ve realised I really thrive in academic situations, and whilst I don’t plan on going back into formal education just yet, I’m putting aside some time every week to watch Skillshare videos and take part in online classes.
- Find the fun in personal style again – If there’s ever one indication of when my mental health isn’t at its best, it’s my personal style suffering. My personal style has always been my way of expressing myself through crippling shyness throughout my years, so I can always see how little effort I put into outfits when I’m feeling low. Last year, I really struggled with self image and branding, finding it difficult to find what clothing I felt comfortable and confident wearing. I found I purchased more basic pieces, favouring a neutral palette. Whilst there’s certainly not a bad thing, I’m feeling bored of my wardrobe already, so this year I want to work more on injecting some fun into my personal style again. I know which styles and colours I always find myself drawn to, so I need to go with that when making any future purchases.
Little Extra Goals Of Mine
- Practice regular meditation and journaling
- Read 35 books
- Learn how to take time out
- Drink more water
- Learn to drive
- Take more photographs
- Spend more time with loved ones
- Develop a morning routine that involves waking up earlier
What are your goals for 2020?